Negotiating: Getting what you need

As far as career skills go, negotiating is a useful one for the workplace. From snagging the salary you want; to getting your first pick of project, being able to massage a situation comes in handy. In Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life, author and negotiation expert Stuart Diamond shares the tips he teaches to his students at The Wharton School and executives at the 200 Fortune 500 companies for which he's consulted. His research on negotiation spans 20 years of research, was conducted in 45 countries and used data from 30,000 people. Here are four of his tips for never-fail negotiating:

Don't think about "winning.” Negotiation is not a competition; it's collaboration. Instead of winning, you should focus on meeting your goals. "If you think of it as 'winning,' you will think about beating them. And if you do that, you will not collaborate as much," says Diamond. Define your goals and ask yourself if your actions are helping you meet them.

Ask what you can do for them. Negotiation is a give and take, and asking how you can help the other person can go a long way. "In order to get your needs met, they have to feel, first, that you are willing to meet their needs. For instance, when interviewing for a job or asking for a raise or promotion, ask the company official what needs they want met," says Diamond. Then, discuss how you might meet their needs -- and vice versa.

Uncover any misconceptions. Diamond says people often have a closer viewpoint than they think, and an angry approach can prevent you both from seeing how close you really are. Instead of expressing your distaste for their viewpoint, ask them to clarify it. "Anytime you have a conflict with someone, ask what the parties are perceiving, whether there is a mismatch and, if so, why. Also, knowing their perceptions gives you a better starting point for persuasion, because you understand the pictures in their heads," says Diamond.

Never threaten or walk out. Ultimatums and walkouts make agreements a near impossibility, says Diamond. His favorite example is the NBA lockout of the past year. "The National Basketball Association wasted $800 million in a shortened season when the parties refused to deal with each other in a constructive negotiation setting, wasting precious time that could have been used to get a deal." Keep your emotions in check or you'll be checking out of your negotiation.

Becoming Extraordinary in Business

These days it's popular to complain about CEOs having all this wealth and power, how the "1 percent" has all the advantages, it's not what you know but who you know, the rich keep getting richer and all that.

You'd think CEOs were born with the title, like royalty, or just fell right out of the sky into a cushy corner office chair. The same goes for big successful companies these executives run. They didn't start out that way. 

So before I blow a gasket, I'm going to try to explain how this really works to all the know-it-alls who actually have no idea what they're talking about and yet somehow always seem to have the loudest voices. I'm going to explain how ordinary people and businesses become extraordinary.

And you know what? I'm going to explain it in a way that everyone can understand.

There's a great movie with Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver called "Galaxy Quest" in which a bunch of washed-up actors from a cult space TV show -- a Star Trek knockoff -- somehow end up in the middle of a real-life interstellar battle to save an alien race from genocide.

With the aliens' and their own lives at stake, the bungling, terrified actors somehow find the courage to step up to the plate and live up to their show's heroic motto: "Never give up, never surrender." In the end they save the alien race from extinction and rid the universe of a bad guy who ranks right up there with Darth Vader.

Let me tell you something. Climbing the corporate ladder and building a successful business in the real world can be exactly like that. It takes tremendous courage, resourcefulness and perseverance in the face of brutal competition and adversity that often seem impossible to overcome.

That's why the movie resonated with me like it did. There were definitely times over the past 30 years when I felt like those actors. Times when my relatively small team and company, underfunded and under-resourced, went up against gigantic, scary companies like Microsoft (MSFT) and Intel (INTC).

There were times when I wasn't at all sure I was up to the challenge. There were times when I felt hopeless, even washed up. But I never gave up and I never surrendered. And every successful corporate executive and business leader goes through the exact same thing for years and years. Entire companies, too.

When you denigrate Big Oil, Big Pharma or Big Telecom, you're missing the simple fact that big companies are nothing but small companies that became really successful through decades of remarkable effort. And people who worked their tails off to overcome extraordinary challenges and hardships lead them all. People just like you.

Exxon Mobil (XOM) CEO Rex Tillerson grew up in a small town in Texas, got a degree in civil engineering and started out as an entry-level engineer at the Standard Oil Company of New Jersey, which had just changed it's name to Exxon. As the company grew, Tillerson climbed the ladder, finally becoming chief executive 31 years later.

Former Verizon (VZ) CEO Ivan Seidenberg began his career as a cable splicer's assistant right out of high school. Decades later he became head of NYNEX, a Regional Bell Operating Company, and through subsequent mergers with Bell Atlantic and GTE became CEO of newly formed Verizon in 2000.

AT&T (T) CEO Randall Stephenson joined the Oklahoma information technology department of Southwestern Bell right out of school in 1982; His predecessor, Ed Whitacre Jr., started out as a facility engineer, also at Southwestern Bell. He worked his way up to CEO, acquired one company after another, and eventually grew a "Baby Bell" into today's AT&T.

There's a common mantra these days that corporations are not people. Yes, they are. Starbucks (SBUX) founder and CEO Howard Schultz grew up not far from where I did in Brooklyn, New York. Steve Ballmer, the often-demonized chief executive of Microsoft, grew up In Detroit. His father worked for Ford (F).

A good friend of mine, a former CEO, just bought a beautiful estate in one of the nicest parts of Los Angeles. He has all sorts of fancy cars. But he didn't start that way. He worked for decades, first at a research lab, then as an entrepreneur at a few startups until one finally took off and went public.

All these people are just like you and me. They all came from working families. And their companies were no different from any small or midsize business. The only difference is that they and the employees of their companies worked tirelessly, faced extreme adversity, overcame the  obstacles and made it. They never gave up and never surrendered.

That's how ordinary people and companies beat the odds and became extraordinary. 

How to Move Forward in Life.

If you want to fly and move on to better things, you have to give up the things that weigh you down – which is not always as obvious and easy as it sounds.

Starting today, give up…

Letting the opinions of others control your life. – People know your name, but not your story. They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through.  So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt.  In the end, it’s not what others think; it’s what you think about yourself that counts.  Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

The shame of past failures. – You will fail sometimes, and that’s okay.  The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.  Your past does not equal your future.  Just because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; or for the last sixteen years, doesn’t have any impact on the current moment.  All that matters is what you do right now!

Being indecisive about what you want. – You will never leave where you are until you decide where you would rather be;  It’s all about finding and pursuing your passion.  Neglecting passion blocks creative flow.  When you’re passionate, you’re energized.  Likewise, when you lack passion, your energy is low and unproductive.  Energy is everything when it comes to being successful.  Make a decision to figure out what you want, and then pursue it passionately.

Procrastinating on the goals that matter to you. – There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.  Follow your intuition.  Don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do.  When there is love and inspiration, you can’t go wrong.  And whatever it is you want to do, do it now.  There are only so many tomorrows.  Trust me, in a year from now, you will wish you had started today.

Choosing to do nothing. – You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when.  You can only decide how you are going to live, right now.  Every day is a new chance to choose.  Choose to change your perspective.  Choose to flip the switch in your mind from negative to positive.  Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting about with insecurity and doubt.  Choose to do work that you are proud of.  Choose to see the best in others, and to show your best to others.  Choose to truly LIVE, right now.

Your need to be right. – If you keep on saying you’re right, even if you are right now, eventually you will be wrong.  Aim for success, but never give up your right to be wrong.  Because when you do, you will also lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.

Running from problems that should be fixed. – We make life harder than it really needs to be. The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word ‘love’ fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution.  Stop running!  Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.

Making excuses rather than decisions. – Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.  A mistake doesn’t become a failure until you refuse to correct it. Thus, most long-term failures are the outcome of people who make excuses instead of decisions.

Overlooking the positive points in your life. – What you see often depends entirely on what you’re looking for.  Do your best and surrender the rest.  When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now. 

Not appreciating the present moment. – We do not remember days, we remember moments.  Too often we try to accomplish something big without realizing that the greatest part of life is made up of the little things.  Live authentically and cherish each precious moment of your journey.  Because when you finally arrive at your desired destination, another journey will begin!

Eliminating Negativity

Trying to manage people who have a poor attitude can feel like a losing battle. Negativity, left unchecked, will eventually stunt team performance; the first step to reinstate the positive? Learning to distinguish real negativity from someone who simply doesn't agree with you. 

"You want people on your team, in any profession, who challenge your thinking and ask the right questions,” says Suzanne Bates, author of "Speak Like a CEO”. "Asking questions that are constructive is not negative -- it's an asset."

But if someone really needs an attitude adjustment, here's how to help him or her:

Open your office door. Sometimes, consistent negative comments mean an employee feels unheard by their boss, and the fix couldn't be simpler. "Keep your door open so people feel comfortable coming in and talking with you informally about what's happening with the team," Bates says. Those conversations may also help you find out about a particular person creating an issue. If people are worried about "tattling," let them know that your conversation will be kept confidential -- and keep that promise.

Pinpoint the person's problem. If someone has a sour attitude, figuring out the cause by talking to him or her one-on-one is crucial. "Ask open-ended, short questions to get to the root problem. Is your employee frustrated with her job activity, and if so, why? Are her skills being underutilized,, and if so, how?"

Encourage employees to contribute to a team-wide solution. It's important to ask for input from the group, as well as from the individuals involved. "One thing we find is that the antidote to negativity can be shared vulnerability. Ask each member of the team to how they have contributed to the current state" of the group, says Jim Haudan, author of  “The Art of Engagement”.

Then ask them to come up with a solution -- together. This is more effective than your dictating the new direction. "When the problem person describes what is to be done, it's more likely to happen," notes J. Robert Parkinson, co-author of "Becoming a Successful Manager”. Have the group define details about goals and solutions and instruct them that it is their responsibility to help maintain this new code of conduct going forward.

Touch base on any future negative behavior. Once you've outlined a plan that has been created, and agreed on, by your team, check in with members individually and as a group to see how it's working -- or not. "Changes in negative behavior require time and attention. Permanent changes won't happen after a single meeting," Parkinson says. Adjust accordingly, and you should be able to keep a few negative people from dampening the positive spirit of the larger group.

Leadership-Taking Charge

The problem with leadership is that we're making copycats. We study the road leaders take and all try to take the same road, creating creative gridlock. We need more road-makers, more people to follow the spirit of these leaders' steps, not their actual path. We need more history-bending figures that seem bigger than life, able to do things that the rest of us see as impossible. In two words, we need more "iconic leaders." The fact that so many icons were at the same conference is amazing. The fact that we have so few icons is tragic.

After looking at this subject for many years, I believe there are three factors that iconic leaders have.

The first is a sense of their own, center of the Earth, core values. Such values are discovered, not taught, not adopted. One of the reasons leaders tend to come from situations of adversity (poverty, early death of a parent, illness -- all factors positively correlated with a life that makes an impact) is that hardships reveal what matters to us -- what principles matter, and what don't. We all have hardships, but we don't all learn from them. It's not the hardship that counts; it's the reflection on it that does. People who are depressed have an edge in this type of learning, because they feel so down they cannot help but to reflect. The result of great reflection as iconic leaders all say, as Martin Luther did when challenged about why he was risking his life: "Here I stand, I can do no other." Gandhi's core values were dignity and respect. Martin Luther King, Jr. was justice and empathy. People's core values are as unique as a fingerprint, so my brief summary of a few iconic leaders’ core values is the beginning of their journey, not the end.

The second element is that they know their great gift. Great gifts are much more specific than talents, strengths or abilities. They are a bit like a cat. They don't come running when you call, but if you create the right environment they insist on sitting on your lap. Like a cat, you can put them in categories (long hair, short hair, tabby, ragdoll), but truthfully, no two cats are the same; each has its own pattern of behavior, it's own personality. If the cat analogy doesn't work for you, then think of children or best friends. The key is to get to know the nuance of your great gift -- when it works, when it fails and situations when it's extra powerful

I referred to finding your great gift in a previous post, and at a specific conference, several people were asking me about mine. It's that I take input and ideas from many fields, companies, empirical research, and synthesize something original. It's part creative and part discovery. And unlike other synthesizers, I take it all the way down to specific steps people can take. It's why I write one book every three years, instead of three books every year. I can't release them until they're done, until my great gift says, "It's ready." My great gift is that I synthesize across fields, from history to spirituality to brain science to mythology, and produce what my tribe calls "actionable insights" -- a new way of seeing an old problem, with specific steps that people are inspired to take as a result of the new perspective.

Here's the test of whether you're on the trail of your great gift: You can do it. When your mind is idle, your great gift kicks in. If you go days without using it, you feel like you've neglected a friend. So a great gift is subtle and creates an obsession at the same time. If you learn to use it, it stops stalking you, and reveals its nature more and more, every day. A relationship with your gift is not optional; the only choice is whether your great gift will feed your leadership story, or whether you feel haunted by an obsession.

The third element is a "cross-trained intuition." Leaders seem to know what the right thing to do is, even when others don't. How do they do this? In almost all the cases I've studied, they drew on insights from a field very different from the one in which they're leading. Howard Thurman, a missionary who had met Gandhi, and studied the principles of non-violence, mentored Martin Luther King, Jr. Many of King's insights came from combining an understanding of missionary work, with the remarkable life of the Indian leader. As a result of this influence, his intuition told him to not align himself with either political party in the United States, to remain outside the system of elected office, and to side with anyone down on his or her luck, regardless of their gender, age, race, or religion. His intuition has been trained by studied something very different from leading a social movement in the United States.

Gandhi's mother was a Jain, a devotee of a belief system that every living being has a soul. He also studied the classics, and was especially moved by the story of Harishchandra, a legendary figure who never told a lie and was a symbol of courage. Later in life, he became a nonviolent agitator -- values-driven, courageous, and building a movement that included Hindus and Muslims -- traditional enemies in India.

The leader with a cross-trained intuition that everyone is buzzing about is Steve Jobs. He did a deep dive in minimalism and aesthetics. The computer I'm typing on now -- a new Mac Book Pro -- shows the effect of his intuition, and how he was famously able to reject focus group marketing, because people wouldn't know what they wanted until they saw it. Just as athletes improve their overall fitness by cross training, leaders who have done a deep dive in a field different from the one the lead come across as a bit odd at first, then clever, later visionary, and finally, as godlike in their insights.

If you put these factors together, you unleash a process called the "genius effect." It begins when you notice that the status quo offends you. You get mad, even outraged. The source of this anger, if you trace it back, is that the way things are violates your core values. You can do something about it -- your value compels you to action, even though the challenge seems like it would require a Manhattan Project to tackle. You do have a secret source of ability, which is your great gift. As you get to know it, you find that it's activated by your righteous indignation of the situation. It's not that your gift saves you, it's that you find yourself using a gift you didn't know you had. Along the way, if you're playing long term, you're guided by a deep instinct that has been cross-trained. If you follow the root of this instinct, you go to the field that you know, that others don't.

The genius effect gets its name from what people tend to say about iconic leaders: They are geniuses, not like me at all. That's true. There will never be another Steve Jobs, or Martin Luther King, Jr., or another Gandhi. Nor will there be another you. Your job is to find the way you can be an iconic leader and do that.

If you want a more specific challenge -- then find two people, and go through the process of finding these three elements of iconic leadership with them. It's your job to help them both find their values, great gift, and source of cross-trained intuition. There are two people who will change your life, and you can be well on your way in 90 days. Your job is to find them.

I will end with this thought: Why aren't there more iconic figures? - Because, in the post millennium there just isn't more courage in the world. In fact, a lot of people study leadership for the wrong reason. They are in a situation and rather than rely on their cross-trained intuition, and great gift, and core values, they calm the restless feeling by reading about leadership. So armed with these general guidelines, the challenge is: Stop reading about it, and do it.

Your Education-Why Engineering is still your best educational investment?

When deciding on a particular degree course, many students are unaware of the vast opportunities that lie in the broad area of engineering. This problem arises since most people are unable to define exactly what type of work an engineer performs.

The engineering profession is not well understood by the general public, even in the United States. A professional engineer lives in a high-tech, fast moving world where the competition is fierce and the stakes are high.

With a degree in engineering, you are far more likely to be involved in the research, design and development of new products and services. Engineers have designed and created most of the world in which we now live. The subject is fairly creative and aims to solve everyday problems in a cost effective and practical manner. While many see engineering as a very technical subject, in reality many engineers will develop considerable management experience and the ability to communicate well and motivate individuals is an important skill.

The financial realities of studying for a degree cannot be ignored. Engineering is one of the few University subjects where companies are actively looking to sponsor students throughout their degree program. If sponsored, the company will normally give you money during the university terms, and this can help to make life a bit easier! Most companies will also offer paid work experience during the long summer holidays, and this is a very useful way of experiencing the type of work opportunities engineering has to offer. Sponsorship also offers the chance of a job offer after you graduate.

Job prospects for graduates with a degree in mechanical, electrical and electronic engineering have never been so exciting. The huge growth in areas such as telecommunications has resulted in a large demand for suitably qualified students. In the past, many students have not realized how many opportunities lie in engineering, and this had led to companies finding it extremely difficult to attract people with the skills and experience they require. In general, engineering offers very rewarding work, as well as the potential for personal development, worldwide travel and good pay.

The mechanical engineer has been called the general practitioner and the jack-of-all trades among engineering professions. This is because the profession requires education and skills that span a broad range of technical, social, environmental, and economic problems. In general, however, the mechanical engineer is concerned with controlling the principles of motion, energy, and force through mechanical solutions. 
A mechanical engineer designs the tools and processes used for satisfying the needs of society through a combination of material, human, and economic resources. He/She might work on electric generators, internal combustion engines, steam and gas turbines, and other power-generating machines. He/She might also develop machines such as refrigeration and air-conditioning equipment, power tools, and other power-using machines.

Practically every company that designs and produces a product employs a mechanical engineer. But mechanical engineers can also be found in research labs, the military, government, and in other professions such as medicine, law or teaching; most mechanical engineering jobs require design experience. When for a new or improved product is needed, companies call upon mechanical engineers to do the job. Engineers have to push beyond the limits of their previous work and use innovative technology to meet project requirements successfully; a second major area of employment for mechanical engineers is manufacturing. Manufacturing jobs cover nearly everything involved in developing a product, from selecting the appropriate materials to choosing the correct machinery to manufacture the product. Most mechanical engineers in this industry work for equipment manufacturers, aerospace companies, utilities, material processing plants, transportation companies, and petroleum companies. They also work with small firms, consulting practices, universities, and government research labs.

An Electrical and Electronic Engineering degree opens the door on many possible careers. Whether you want to be a manager or a technical expert, a sales person or a computer programmer, most electronics companies will need and value your skills. If at the end of your degree you decide that your future does not lie in engineering, then your degree can still be used to apply for a wide range of alternative employment opportunities.

In conclusion, a good degree in Mechanical, Electrical and Electronic Engineering from a university with strong research in growth areas such as telecommunications, as well as strong links to the industry, is an excellent and flexible foundation for future success.

Did you know that within Fortune 500 companies 53% of the CEOs have a degree in engineering, while only 11% have a business related degree in their resume?

Stages of CEO/Executive Development

Everyone goes through the same stages of human development on the road to adulthood and maturity. Unfortunately, some of us get stuck in one stage or another, stunting our growth and rendering us dysfunctional.

We look just like ordinary adults, but we actually behave a lot more like children, acting out, throwing tantrums, and generally making life miserable for everyone around us.

It's pretty much the same thing with executives and business leaders. The only difference is that, instead of just messing up their own lives like ordinary people, dysfunctional leaders influence the lives, livelihoods, and investment portfolios of hordes of employees, customers, and investors.

I'd estimate that maybe a quarter of the executives and directors I've worked with have gotten themselves prematurely stuck in one of the following stages of leadership development:

Stage 1: Sponge. You listen and learn from everyone and every situation as you try to figure out how things work in the real business world. Just like a baby learning to walk, you look really cute stumbling around like the clueless neophyte you are. The good news is you have no real responsibility, so you're not in a position to cause any real damage. You just fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again until you get it right.

Stage 2: Proof-of-concept. Believing you're actually capable of accomplishing something besides making a complete fool of yourself by promising the world and delivering next to nothing, you set out to prove yourself worthy of the management title that, in all likelihood, you've already been granted.

Stage 3: Delivery. Congratulations, you've somehow managed to deliver the goods and succeed in doing something that can credibly be viewed as a business success. In other words, you made money for somebody and got rewarded with a nice fat bonus. You think you've finally arrived. Won't your spouse be thrilled?

Stage 4: Reset. A little full of yourself, you try a repeat performance using the same tricks that worked the first time and realize--too late--that you're going to need a bigger playbook to consistently make it in the big leagues. Failure doesn't sit well with you. In fact, it's downright depressing. So you set out to make sure that never happens again.

Stage 5: Maturity. After a few iterations of the third and fourth stages, you finally begin to get how the real world works. You realize you're just like everybody else, meaning you succeed at some things, fail at others, and learn from everything. It slowly dawns on you that being a mature leader isn't that much different from the first stage, except experience has given you confidence and, with any luck, a sense of humor and humility. Win or lose, you look good doing it -- and deserve that bonus, right?

So, think it over. Are you stuck in one of the stages or know somebody who is? Let me hear from you!

Management Time Strategies

Time is money, so the saying goes. If you're trying to make the most of both, here are some of my favorite strategies for getting a team working effectively.

1. Give people doors. Collaboration is great, but so is the ability to focus. If architecture is remotely within your purview, make sure people have space for quiet concentration when they need it for writing or thinking through longer projects. Nothing kills productivity like distractions.

2. Schedule shorter calls. I've never understood why phone calls (and meetings) are always scheduled for 30 or 60 minutes. Is it because all phone calls naturally take this long? Or is it because that's how much time people budget in their calendars for them? In most cases, shortening the scheduled length of a phone call (to 15 or 20 minutes) will not only make it shorter, but also more effective.

3. Kill the standing meeting. Oh, I know -- sometimes you do need meetings scheduled at a regular time and place. But these tend to creep up on you and multiply until calendars are filled. Get rid of them all. Then slowly see which ones you need to add back.

4. Give all meetings an agenda, with a time frame attached to each item. Invite fewer people rather than more -- something you'll be able to do if you check in occasionally with all team members, so they don't need to crash meetings to get face time.

5. If you need an immediate answer, call. Don't risk creating a culture where people feel compelled to check email constantly, just in case you sent them something.

6. Turn out the lights at a reasonable hour. Pushing past people's work limits not only wastes time, in some industries it can be completely counterproductive. Since some people won't leave until you do, leave conspicuously.

7. Re-using and recycling aren't just for household trash. See if you can re-use anything your team spent time on in a different context. Extra research can morph into articles in industry publications, white papers can turn into speeches; and you should give any workshop you design multiple times. Use all parts of the buffalo in your work life.

8. Keep in touch with everyone who left your organization on good terms. Next time you have an opening, give these people a call first. Someone might say yes, which could save weeks of searching and interviewing candidates and then training them in your company's culture.

9. Give everyone the attention they deserve. In the short run, cutting short a one-on-one discussion with someone who clearly wants to be heard can save time. But in the long run, burnt out or unhappy employees will cost you big.

Being a Great Manager!

In the best of all worlds, executive compensation, shareholder value, operating goals, management objectives, and employee needs are all perfectly aligned.

If you ever find a company like that, keep it to yourself. Nobody will believe you.

It should come as no surprise that perfect companies are about as easy to find as perfect bosses and perfect spouses. It just doesn't happen. Come to think of it, if you look in the mirror and don't see plenty of flaws, you're delusional. And companies are entirely made up of imperfect people, just like you.

Even after 100,000 years of natural selection, the human race has progressed to the point where our organizations are nearly as effective as a colony of ants with defective antennas. That's right, we still have a long way to go; Sobering thought, I know.

And yet, for all the Yahoos, HPs RIMs, Sprints, Sonys, Kodaks, Nokias, Bank of Americas, and all the executives that turned these once-great brands into laughing stocks, there's still the occasional Apple or IBM to give us hope.

It may be an imperfect world, but there are still managers who more or less know what they're doing -- after they've had their morning coffee. Here's my take on what high-performance managers do -- or are at least supposed to do -- to motivate their teams and deliver results:

- Help the company achieve its strategic and operating goals by making smart business decisions and managing their team effectively.

- Entrust their employees with as much responsibility as their capabilities will allow and hold them accountable for the same.

- Behave like a mature adult -- genuine and empathetic -- even when their employees or their management are acting out like spoiled children.

- Provide their employees with the tools, training, and support they need to effectively achieve challenging but reasonably attainable goals.

- Promote a can-do, customer service attitude with customers and stakeholders by walking the talk and leading by example.

- Promote their team's accomplishments and take the heat for their failures.

- Provide genuine feedback, both good and bad, to their employees, peers, and management. Request the same from them.

- Work their tail off and be hands-on when necessary. If they don't, they can't expect anybody else to do it either.

- Don't compromise their ethical principles in the name of "the ends justify the means" or for any other reason.

- Strike a balance between shielding their folks from the ripples of dysfunctional management and openly communicating events that may affect them.

Overall, the best managers create a work environment where people feel challenged, do their best, and are held accountable for meeting their commitments. But most importantly, they're key components in an organization that exists to serve its customers and shareholders. We're all happiest working for a successful company.

What We All Need to Learn to Say

It happens to everyone. You'll be talking to friends or watching a movie and somebody says something that, for whatever reason, strikes a resounding chord with you.

I wouldn't describe it as an epiphany because you probably weren't even aware of how much it spoke to you. But that particular phrase somehow resonated with your situation and state of mind at that point in time.

After a while, you probably won't remember when you first heard it or what you were going through that made it stick with you like it did. But every so often, that phrase pops into your head and you use it. Over time, it becomes part of your toolbox, your belief system, your internal compass, what you stand for. It becomes part of your DNA.

It's the same thing with companies - a collection of beliefs and behavior becomes part of the culture.

I'm not sure a week goes by that a few of these don't go through my mind and impact the way I live and work. They figure prominently in the decisions I make and the way I act once I've made them. It's a good thing I learned to say them. Hope you find them useful.

My work doesn't define me. Work is about business. Mostly that involves a company delivering a product or service to its customers. Notice you're not in that equation. I don't care if you're the CEO. Sure, everybody plays a role, and some roles are bigger than others. While it's great to be engaged and passionate about your work, just remember that it's what you do, not who you are.

What should I do differently? Also what am I missing or not seeing? Inertia's a killer for lives, careers, and companies. If you're not happy with the way things are going, that's not going to change until you do something differently. That means sitting down and thinking about what you should maybe do differently. Yes, that takes effort and energy. No kidding.

Do the right thing. This simple phrase that one wise CEO used to say all the time articulates the work ethic that my father instilled in me when I was young. It represents my moral and ethical compass. You can say that what's right for one person isn't right for another, and that may be true in some cases. But more often than not, at least on some level people usually know what the right thing to do is. They just choose not to do it.

Tomorrow's another day. As a business owner I've had managers complain about the lack of resources and cry that there just wasn't enough time in the day to get everything done. No kidding. It's not as if I forced them at gunpoint to do x, y and z that day. If I had to pick one Golden Rule of the workplace, it's this one. I don't know how anyone can live without it.

What's the worst that can happen? People are forever taking big risks with stuff they can't afford to lose while playing it way too safe when they have nothing to lose. The most important things you need to do in life are the things that scare you. It's called facing your fear and having the courage to act. It helps a lot if you learn to ask yourself this question so you can tell if your fear is justified or not.

How am I doing? It's truly sad that someone in the human resources or organizational development field had to come up with "360 degree" reviews so managers and executives can find out how they're really doing. Yes, the anonymity factor is unique, but if your people or peers aren't comfortable telling you the truth when you ask for it, something's wrong with your management or leadership style.

What's my value proposition? Said another way, how can I help my company, customer, organization, or management? These days I guess they call it "servant leadership," but to me it's always been a question of what can I do better than anyone else that benefits whoever's paying me. It's the same thing with products, services, organizations, and companies. If you can't articulate what unique benefit you offer, then why should anyone pay for it?

 What the heck (substituted word)? The line that defines the movie "Risky Business" is when Miles says to Joel (played by Tom Cruise): "Every now and then say, 'What the Heck'; 'What the Heck!'; gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." It's repeated in one form or another throughout the movie. It's similar to "What's the worst that can happen?" but I think of it more like "letting go." When you learn to let go, good things come to you; Really. 

I'm wasting my time and energy. This phrase is a relatively recent one for me, but I suspect that every single one of you will benefit by learning how to say it. Why? Social media. Smartphones. iPads. The blogosphere. Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, texting, Pandora, iTunes, gaming, Hulu, reality television -- we live in a world of endless distraction, information, and communication overload. It's too much.

Hope is a terrible strategy. Once you make decisions, having faith that you're doing the right thing and sticking with it as long as it makes sense is all well and good. But far too many people aren't willing to do the work. They take the easy way out or take bigger risks than they should and hope things work out. They won't. When hope takes the place of cold, hard facts and smart decision-making, it's a recipe for disaster.

What phrases come to your mind when you need guidance?