The Amoral “Boss/Supervisor/Manager”…

We’ve all had bosses do things we didn’t like, appreciate, or respect. And every manager has done things they later regret. The business world is, by necessity, one of real-time decisions and judgment calls that sometimes turn out to be bad choices, in retrospect.

After all, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. And that’s a good thing, since that’s are how we learn lessons, including how to do our jobs better. That goes for every employee, manager, executive, business owner, CEO, everyone.

But sometimes a mistake can become a slippery slope. An exception can all-too-easily become the rule. Simply put, there are lines that managers should not cross, behavior they should not exhibit, and not to be overly dramatic, pathways that lead more or less to the dark side.

In 10 things great managers do. I went back in time to the best characteristics of the best CEOs I’ve worked for and with over the past 30 years. I decided to do the same thing here for the simple reason that I learned as much from the negative experiences as I did from the positive ones.

Keep in mind, this is not meant to be a whine-fest to get employees riled up and ticked off at their bosses. Think of it instead as a standard that employees and managers alike can agree upon and, perhaps, a wakeup call for those who need one.

10 Things a “Boss/Supervisor/Manager” Should Never Do

1.       Order people around like dictators. Contrary to popular belief, managers are not dictators. Every manager has at least one boss. Even CEOs serve the customer, board of directors, and shareholders. Any manager who thinks he can order people around or abuse his authority because he’s the boss is a terrible leader. Employees are not soldiers or children. You can tell them what their job is and even fire them, if you want, but if you order them around, the good ones will up and quit, as they should.

2.               Forget about customers. It never ceases to amaze me how many managers forget that organizations and companies exist for just one reason - to win, maintain, and support customers. Business is about business, and when you make it about you - your issues, your fears, your empire, your thin skin, whatever - you cease to be an effective manager.

3.           Behave like arrogant jerks that are better than others. Just to be clear, I am not saying managers or bosses can’ not be jerks. A lot of people are jerks, including plenty of employees, and almost everybody’s a jerk under certain circumstances. I’m specifically talking about the arrogant “I’m better than the little people” thing. It makes you look like a little brat and completely neuters your authority and credibility.

4.          Let their egos write checks that reality can’t cash. Oftentimes, leaders attain their position because they believe they’re special - a fascinating misconception that’s nevertheless often self-fulfilling. The problem with that is the slippery slope of drinking your own Kool Aid. Either you grow up or, sooner or later, things end up unraveling. I’ve seen it time and again and it isn’t pretty.

5.           Publicly eviscerate employees. Of all the things I’ve experienced over the decades, this is not only the most dehumanizing but also the most demoralizing to employees. I had a couple of CEOs that practiced this on a regular basis and both were universally despised, as a result. Moreover, both self-destructed in the end.

6.              Wall off their feelings. This may sound touchy feely, but it’s far from it. Researchers are fond of classifying executives and leaders as psychopathic, but the mechanism by which that happens is compartmentalizing of emotions. If you’ve ever wondered how people who seem to lack any semblance of humor or humility can behave the way they do, the answer is, if you’re not connected to your emotions, you’re far less human.

7.               Surround themselves with bureaucrats, B’sers, and yes-men. When you encourage the status quo and discourage dissent, you doom the organization to stagnation and eventual decline.

8.              Threaten. Threats don’t work. They’re just as likely to motivate the opposite behavior of what you’re trying to achieve. They diminish your authority and make you appear weak and small. You should communicate what you want and why, then act on the results. That works. Threats don’t. And for God’s sake, never threaten an employee with his job or a vendor with your business. That’s just out of control.

9.     Act out like little children. Everyone goes through the same stages of human development on the road to adulthood and maturity. Unfortunately, some of us get stuck in one stage or another, stunting our growth and rendering us dysfunctional. We look just like ordinary adults, but we actually behave a lot more like children, acting out, throwing tantrums, and generally making life miserable for everyone around us.

10.          Break the law. America is a nation of laws and, civil or criminal, they’re black and white for a reason. For some reason, executives will sometimes risk everything - power, wealth, careers, families, everything - for motives most of us will never understand.  We’re talking accounting, securities, bank, wire, and mail fraud; insider trading; bribery; obstruction of justice; conspiracy; discrimination; harassment; it’s a long, long list.

Doing Things Differently; Meeting Your Obstacles Head On

Whenever I’m discussing a challenge — oh, all right, whenever I’m whining about something — my friend only lasts about 30 seconds before he says, “Okay, I get it. What are you going to do differently?”

Hearing the same thing time after time could be pretty irritating… except he’s right. The only way to overcome a problem is to do something differently.

But here’s an even better approach: Instead of waiting until you’re forced to make a bad situation better, why not turn a decent situation into a great one and tackle your challenges head on?

Let’s call this business — and personal — strategy The Five A(s) of Awesomeness. (Then again maybe not; I might have just gone all Tony Robbins on you.)

All you have to do is pick a few of these to do differently:

Analyze

1.             Switch measurements. Over time we develop ways to measure our performance. Maybe you focus on time to complete, or quality, or end result. Each can be effective, but sticking with one or two could cause you to miss opportunities to improve. Say you focus on meeting standards; what if you switched it up and focused on time to completion? Measuring your performance in different ways forces you to look at what you do regularly from a new perspective.

2.             Shift benchmarks. If you create apps it’s fun to benchmark against, say, the runaway success of Angry Birds. Setting an incredible goal is fine — since if you don’t aim high you won’t reach high — but failing to hit a lofty goal can kill your motivation. Choose a different benchmark; look for companies (or people) with similar assets, backgrounds, etc. and try to beat their results. For a motivation boost, consider, finding the enemy.

Accept

Be who you are. I would like to climb like this guy. Or, ride a motorcycle like that guy. Or, change the world like Steve Jobs. I won’t. And for the most part I’m okay with that because I can always be a better me. I can climb better or ride faster or make a bigger difference in the lives of my family and friends. Think about whom you admire and pick a few of their qualities to emulate, not necessarily their accomplishments. You can’t be them — and they can’t be you.

Let others be who they are. Your boss isn’t going to change. The company you work for isn’t going to change. Your customers, your vendors… they aren’t going to change. Don’t expect them to. Pick one source of frustration and decide what you will do differently, including, possibly, walking away. When you stop focusing on negatives you may start to notice positive qualities you missed. No one is as bad or as good as you make him or her out to be — and that’s okay.

Assist

Help a coworker. Don’t wait to be asked. Pick someone who is struggling and offer to help. But don’t just say, “Is there some way I can help you?” Be specific: Offer to help with a specific task, or to take over a task for a few days, or to work side-by-side. A general offer is easy to brush aside; a specific offer shows not just that you want to help but that you care.

Help a superstar. Counterintuitive? Hardly. Compared to others, the best-performing people don’t need help, so they rarely get it, and as a result they’re often lonely, at least in a professional sense. Ask if you can help with a specific task. Not only will you build a nice interpersonal bridge, you may create a connection that helps improve your own performance.

Help anyone. Few things feel better than helping someone in need. Take a quick look around; people less fortunate than you are everywhere. For example, I did an interview skills seminar for prison inmates (after all, who needs to know how to deal with tough interview questions more than a convicted felon?) It only took an hour of my time and was incredibly rewarding. Most were touchingly grateful that someone — anyone — cared enough to want to help them.

Approach

Go opposite. If you haven’t reached a goal, what you are currently doing isn’t working. Instead of tweaking your approach, take an entirely different tack. If traditional advertising isn’t working, try cold calling. If you aren’t getting the promotions you want, start a small business on the side. Pick one goal you’re struggling to achieve and try a completely different approach. Sometimes adjustments will eventually pay off, but occasionally you just need to blow something up.

Drop one thing. We all have goals — often, too many goals. It’s impossible to do ten things extremely well. Take a look at your goals and pick at least one that you’ll set aside, at least for now. (Don’t feel bad — you weren’t accomplishing any of your goals to your satisfaction anyway, so what can it hurt?) Then put the time you were spending on that goal into your highest priority. You can’t have it all, but you can have a lot — especially when you narrow your focus to one or two key goals.

Change your workday. Get up earlier. Get up later. Take care of emails an hour after you start work. Eat at your desk. Pick one thing you do on a regular basis, preferably something you do for no better reason than that’s the way you always do it, and do it in a different way or at a different time. Familiarity doesn’t always breed contempt. Sometimes familiarity breeds complacency, and complacency is an improvement and progress killer.

Adopt

Pick a habit. Successful people are successful for a reason, and that reason is often due to the habits they create and maintain. Take a close look at the people who are successful in your field: What do they do on a regular basis? Then adopt one of their habits and make it your own. Never reinvent a wheel when a perfect wheel already exists.

Pick someone to mentor. I’m convinced I learn more from teaching than the people I teach. (Hopefully that says more about the process of teaching than about my teaching abilities.) Not only will you help someone else, you’ll build your network and learn a few things about yourself.

Pick a couple and do things differently. (And if you have ideas you’d like to add, feel free to share in the comments.)

When you do, tomorrow will be better — or at the very least more interesting.

The Penn State Scandal and What We Should Learn

Who decides when the CEO or leader must go?  That is a question that Penn State has faced for at least a decade in its decision about how long should Joe Paterno remain as its head football coach. Today, in the wake of a horrific child abuse scandal, the answer is clear: it is now! Joe Paterno and the university’s president were fired late Wednesday.

Paterno followed the letter of the law in disclosing an allegation of child abuse but in failing to follow up on those allegation - as it would seem a man of his principle would - he and his fellow administrators allowed an accused sexual predator to remain free of investigation for nine years.

Mindboggling? No, heart breaking to the Penn State faithful - student, alumni, faculty, staff, administration and most of all to the children who were allegedly preyed upon by Paterno's former coach and rumored heir apparent.

The problem is larger than what Paterno did or did not do. Penn State seemingly acted more in the spirit of self-preservation than in child protection. But there is a pattern. The university, for decades, has put football, or especially Paterno, in a separate category, seemingly exempt from close scrutiny, and to be fair until now Paterno acted in an exemplary manner. He seemed beyond reproach: his players graduated; he donated over $5 million to the school, most of which was used for a new library; and he was a genuine father figure to his players.

But there were cracks in the legacy. In 2004, the university president sought to have Paterno retire. But Joe Paterno paid his supposed boss no heed. And the university backed down and in the process, sublimated its rightful authority to his whims.

The lesson for boards of directors, university trustees and public officials are clear. Never allow one executive to loom larger than the institution he or she represents.

Here are some suggestions:

Set limits on tenure. Make it clear that the time of service is measured in increments of three to five years. The contract may be renewed regularly but it must be done so with a clear ending point. That prevents leaders from staying on indefinitely.

Groom successors. A leader's legacy begins on the first day of service but it is cemented by the people he grooms to succeed him both as successors and as members of future leadership teams. A deep bench negates the feeling that we have only one person in charge.

Insist on accountability. Leaders who remain in charge are those that deliver the goods. They produce returns that enrich the fiscal and social well being of the institution. Included in accountability must be personal behavior. That is, how do they treat others - colleagues, employees, and other stakeholders? As the saying goes managers get things right; leaders do it the right way.

Will there be exceptions to these guidelines? Certainly. An exemplary leader can extend his length of service. This may be especially true if the institution - more than the leader himself -- could benefit from his leadership for an additional period.

A more serious problem occurs when the reputation of a long-serving and well-intentioned executive becomes so entwined with the reputation of the organization they become synonymous. This is exactly what happened at Penn State. Joe Paterno became the public face of the university.

In good times, that may serve the institution well, but when trouble strikes the institution looks weak and vulnerable, not to mention culpable for failing to hold the leader accountable.

So much for my opinion, I welcome yours.

The End of a Business Relationship

The good news is most business relationships can work for years, and many, for a lifetime.  The bad news is that some are doomed and it is best to cut bait early.

There are several obvious reasons to walk away, including illegal behavior, violence (you’d be surprised how many times I’ve heard of coworkers throwing items at each other), or psychopathic behavior.

But the single most important indicator that it’s time to end the business relationship is much more subtle, which is why people ignore it for years.  It is when your core values, and those of another person, cannot coexist.  Before anyone starts packing, let’s make sure you see have a real core values clash, as this situation is surprisingly rare.

The technique to use is called “click down.” To see how it works, let’s go to a setting where the stakes are high and people are smart enough to have tried just about every strategy before deciding to leave the organization.  I’m talking about museums. Unlike many organizations, museums run on core values.  People study art history-a doctorate in the field is a prerequisite to leadership in many museums-because they love art.  They stay in the field for the same reason, and larger museums attract hundreds of volunteers that fill their free time by educating visitors about the museum’s collections.  When personal values of leaders collide with those of others, the result can derail the organization.  People often choose sides, the museum fragments into silos.  The rates of gossip soar, and people use spies and networks to find out what the “other side” is doing.  Volunteers sense the disharmony and many stop showing up.

Within the most difficult of situations, let’s pick one of the most toughest clashes: A nonprofit CFO and an Executive Director (ED) hate each other, and everyone in the museum seems to know about it.  The CFO values a balanced budget while the ED values growth and expansion of the museum’s collections.  Every time the ED brings up expansion, the CFO turns red and shakes his head.  Likewise, every time the CFO brings up “reining in expenses,” the ED tells her why that approach is wrong.  In some museums, this problem has been boiling for years.

Here’s how to use “click down.” Start with the ED, and ask him to identify his value that the CFO violates.  He’ll probably say, “She doesn’t understand the need for growth.”    Deepen the conversation by asking what about that value is so important.  You might ask: “what about growth is so important?”  Many EDs will say, “Because that’s how we become better known as a museum.”  Continue to deepen by asking about that statement-why is becoming better known important?  You might hear: “because our mission is to educate, and we can’t do that if no one knows who we are.”  There’s a good chance we’re now dealing with a core value, rather than something more superficial.  You can verify that “the mission” is a core value by trying to deepen it.  If you ask: “and why is the mission so important?” you’ll probably hear something like, “because it is.”  When asked why a core value is important, people circle back to it because there is nothing deeper.  A core value is the bedrock of a human being-there’s nothing below it.

Now let’s turn to the CFO.  When asked to identify the value that the ED violates, she’ll probably say, “He doesn’t see the need to operate with a balanced budget.”  Click down by asking why a balanced budget is so important, you might hear: “because that’s how we stay open.”  If asked why staying open is important, she might say, “because that’s part of our mission-to educate.”  And, like the ED, when trying to deepen “the mission,” it loops back to the same value.

In this case, the two people were fighting over values that weren’t core values.  A little dose of “click down,” and it turns out they have found a shared commitment that is deeper than the conflict.  The question to ask them now is: “how do we serve our mission of education, while managing responsibly and finding ways to grow?”

If you can find shared core values, you can work together.  In fact, some of the best partnerships have shared core values while clashing on non-core values.

If you go through “click down,” and end up with core values that cancel each other out, then it’s time to pack your bags.  Clashes I’ve seen include:

1.             Efficiency vs. excellence. One person will want to get a lot done at 80% quality, while the other wants to do less to perfection.

2.             Impact vs. quality of life. One person wants to work 20-hour days to make history, while the other wants to leave at 6pm and take the weekends off to spend time with his family.

3.             Professionalism vs. pragmatism. One person wants to set the bar on doing things in a way that adheres to professional standards while the other wants to just do what works.

If you want to sacrifice everything in service of a core value the other person doesn’t share, time to pack your bags.  Most workarounds will not work, and no amount of team-building, strategic planning, or therapy will help.  Better to learn from the clash and find people to work with who share your core values.